Lucky in Goodbye



How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. - Carol Sobieski and Thomas Meehan, Annie


Today's prompt from Gypsy Mama's Five Minute Friday is loss.

I said a prayer last night that today's topic would have something to do with what today represents for me: the 20th anniversary of the day I met the man I thought I'd marry.

He and I were best friends for several years before love set in. Throughout the years there were many good times but many bad as well.

Over the years I noticed inconsistencies in behavior and words. In our relationship, actions truly did speak louder than words and those actions took a huge toll on me.

I know I've written about this loss before. However, since today is our "would be" anniversary, I choose to un-meet him today.

In reality, I know I cannot truly not know him. However, I can say a final good-bye to the lies, the betrayals, the hurt, the pain, the loss and the abuse.

I will keep in my heart the lessons I've learned - of which there were many. I will treasure the friendship and the love that I choose to believe long ago once was.

The image I created for today is from the last Sunset he and I watched together. I wish I could say that I don't feel a twinge of pain in my heart. But, I do. It's okay though. The twinge tells me how much he and our relationship once meant to me.

I've lost so much more than I could ever put into words. However, I have gained freedom in learning to trust myself again. I gained hope for the future that I know God has in store for me. I gained discovery and commitment from true friends that tell the truth and stick around when the going gets tough.

To this man, I wish the best. However, I do pray you find the strength and courage to be honest with yourself and above all, God.

I bid my last good-bye to you, this man from my past. I truly hope you will refrain from contacting me in any way, shape or form until you are able to be free any and all untruths. Best wishes to you always.