Compassion for oneself - say what?

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these. - George Washington Carver

I had something brought to my attention today that has me puzzled to pieces.  (Pun intended.)

I care deeply for others.  If someone is in pain, has a need, or is suffering, I do my best to be there at a moments notice.  If I can't be there, I feel horribly guilty.

Today I was told that I appear to have very little compassion for myself. (I'm putting that as nicely as possible.)

One might even say that I seem to go overboard in helping others as if to say their needs matter more than mine - that their hurts are undeserved but mine are deserved.

I'll even go so far as to say that I think I might try to cover up my own needs/hurts by trying to meet the needs of others. 

I don't believe I'm alone in this.  Am I?

Do you have compassion for yourself and the hard things that you've been through?  If so, how do you show it to yourself? 

I believe we all deserve compassion.  Jesus was/is full of compassion for the hurting.  I'm assuming He would want us to show compassion for ourselves as well as others. 

Please forgive my ignorance, but I'd really like to hear your thoughts on this.

Thank you.


  1. This doesn't surprise me abut you at all. I think some of us are also much harder on ourselves than we would be on friends in the same circumstances. We are usually not our own best friend, but we should be!

  2. I love the softness of this picture,it makes me think of you,soft and gentle. I have been guilty of caring more for others than myself. I think that with Jake's illness and passing,I have begun to realize that I need to take care of Ruth,because I cannily be helpful to others when I take care of myself.Does any of that make sense,or am I rambling? Hugs to you.

  3. i agree with Ginny, we always see ourselves with different eyes than we see others and are always much harder on ourselves than others. and the things we see in ourselves others do not even notice at all.

  4. You described me so well...I think I have a problem with too much compassion for others. I have not cared for myself enough.
    You are not alone with this...and a beautiful photo

  5. You are not alone. I think I'm like that, but I remember advising someone once to treat herself the same as she would treat anyone else - to think of her self as a separate person who also needs care and attention and wisdom. I don't follow my own advice very well sometimes!

  6. You are so right. We all think differently about ourselves.

  7. Oh...ouch! It's easy to get so focused on helping others we shortchange ourselves. Fine balance there between caring for others and taking care of ourselves. Important reminder.

  8. I'd never quite thought about it like this. I too go overboard helpin' meet others needs while pushin' my own aside.

    I kinda thinks it's the Mom thing in all of us to take care of others.

    Loved the soft velvety petals in the pic today sweetie.

    God bless ya and have an awesome day!!! :o)

  9. I don't hide my feeling very well. Tears can spring into my eyes in one minute and my feelings get hurt very easily, too easily. I wish I could change that about myself.

    One thing I do not do though is put myself last. It may be selfish, but I truly do believe you can't help others if you don't help yourself first. It took me awhile to learn that but I'm glad I did.

    Sending you big hugs!
    xo Catherine

  10. Beautiful pic and compelling words ... I have to say, though, that I love people and like helping them, but sadly I seem to fall short in the area of mercy and compassion. It seems, though, that you have a gift for that. I know I sound like a terrible person, but I realized long ago that I can't make anyone happy. Happiness is a decision we each must make. I seems that you are happy while helping others, but it's important to remember yourself too. You can't tend to others if you aren't taking care of yourself.

  11. You always give us something to think about, and this is a difficult one to see in perspective I think.

  12. I'm still thinking about this even after reading the post several times...

  13. I was this way up until a few years ago, when I realized he said "love others as you love yourself" which meant we first needed to love ourselves so we can love others.