My Cross



The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.  -David Russell

I just read Bonnie's post (Need Someone) where she asked these questions:

  • Who are the Simons in your life that have won a special place in your personal history?
  • Who has carried your cross?  Who has helped you in your life, whether in your spiritual journey or otherwise?
  • Who has prayed for you?  Who has been there for you?
  • Who has been your Simon?

And I got to thinking.  A lot.

First, let me say that I have long since believed the cross God asked me to carry came in the form of abuse, which led to abandonment in a vicious repetitive cycle.

I'm been working on healing from my past for a long time.  I've healed in many ways although once in a while I seem to take a couple steps back in order to gain a few more forward footholds.

I'm blessed to say that there have been a few very special "Simon's" in my life that have been there for me, encouraged me, loved me and helped me heal.

Those Simon's have come in the form of family members, dear friends and even a friend or two that I met while blogging.

Right now, I'm thinking of one particular "Simon."

I've kept it pretty quiet, but I've been dating a man for a while now.  He's been an amazing addition to my life.  There is so much positive and good in this man.

He's definitely been a "Simon" to me.

He's affirmed my worth in a way no one else has.
He's loved and accepted me in the same way, too.
And, he makes me laugh....often.

I've done my best to do the same for him.

However, as he and I embark on a so-called "break" I'm realizing one (or both of us) may be afraid of the future we could both have ... of what "could be" if we let it.

I'm willing to take the risk (most of the time) but I'm not sure he is.

He's used to living a life in a very tight-knit community and I'm not sure if he's ready to let an outside someone all the way in.

This dear Simon is a proud man.  He's honest and trustworthy.  He loves Christ.

I don't know if this is what God has planned for us or if the timing is just off right now.

I leave it all in God's capable hands to resolve.

I am proof that God sends the right "Simon's" throughout our lives at just the right time.  They come in packages you'd never expect and through thoroughfares you never dreamed of venturing on.

These Simon's help us carry our crosses which in turn help us shine the light of Jesus and His love for us ... not just on others ... but on ourselves as well (which is where we sometimes need it the most).




5 comments

  1. sorry to hear about the break and hope it all works out for both of you... i can't think of a Simon except maybe my friend Madeline in Jr high that walked up to my desk and introduced herself. it was the first day of school and i had transferred from school in KY to Savannah... i was scared to death. she helped so much and became my best friend all through high school

    ReplyDelete
  2. I trust that you will 'know' beyond a shadow of doubt which path to take in regards to this relationship. God has someone very special for you somewhere,this may or may not be that one.I pray that you will sense God's leading in this.Hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  3. praying for peace as you continue this journey of trusting God with all the answers to questions that are scary to ask
    He has you, right in the palm og His loving hand.

    ReplyDelete
  4. The quote you have here is so true. I pray you will know the way the Lord would have you walk.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm so sorry for the troubles in your life, Stacey. I'm so glad God sends the Simons in your life at just the right time. Praying for God's guidance for you and for deeper healing.

    ReplyDelete